What does 'Normal' mean?

Normal

I tried to look normal and smile easily, but my physical appearance was anything but normal. Mama sat across from me adjusting her glasses. We were having coffee.

“How you doing, baby?” she wanted to know.

I had looked at myself in the mirror before leaving my apartment. My clothes hung on my thin body as if I were a hanger swallowing up my arms and legs. The stench of my sweat stung my nose. I hadn’t taken a bath in days.

My eyes were sunk back deep into my head. Dark blotches of skin covered my face. My lips were dry and brittle. Yet, there I sat, grinning at her through gritty, yellowed teeth, my lips peeling, the deep cracks around my mouth stinging me every time I tried to drink coffee. I wasn’t there to see how she was doing. I came to steal her money to buy crack

“I’m alright,” I said, trying to sip from the cup of coffee without fully opening my mouth.

She took a long swallow of coffee and carefully sat the cup down on the saucer.
“Are you really alright?”
She talked slowly but her eyes were alert. I hadn’t counted on his. I had hoped that she would be so medicated she wouldn't see the wreckage in my life. Every visit with her, every time I came calling, showed her how crack/cocaine was depleting my will and ability to fight against it, how my lust for getting high was slowly killing me.

“I’m doing better, Mama.” I was smiling, trying to sound convincing. “I really am,” I added. I scanned the kitchen to see whether her pocketbook was lying around. It wasn't.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I told her. That was my excuse to get away from her and search her bedroom upstairs for money.