Don't Tell Me What To Do: A Spiritual Memoir
Just kill me now, LORD! I'd rather be dead than alive, because nothing I predicted is going to happen. – Jonah 4:3

Why I enjoyed smoking crack?


Smoking crack anesthetized my thinking and feeling, yet gave me an exhilarating feeling of light headiness that I describe as being 'better than sex' I write in my book that . . .

I pick up the stem off the bed. My fingers are sticky with blood. I take a large piece of crack from the bag, ignoring the fact that my bloody fingers are staining the rock that I am about to smoke. I light the blood smeared stem with a cigarette lighter. The flame crackles from the burning blood. Quickly and effectively, the cocaine soothes my nerves, quieting down the voices in my head.

“Man, you’re bleeding really badly,” the girl says to me. “You need a doctor.”

I ignore her. I reach my bloody hand inside of the bag of crack and pull out another rock. I wipe more blood from my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. The piece of crack is sticking to my bloody fingertips, making it difficult for me to get it into the stem so I can smoke it.

Search result for 'Smoking crack' in Don't Tell Me What To Do: A Spiritual Memoir

"... Ironically, while writing my article, I stop taking my medication, believing that my sanity is restored, that the voices have been vanquished and permanently shut out from my head. Within days, however, I discover that my self-diagnosis is wrong. I relapse and begin Smoking crack. My ..."
"... stop.” “—Cocaine is something different,” Jake interrupts. “I’ve shot heroin for years, but I never blew too much money or lost my sanity. But when I started Smoking crack, I blew a lot of money. Coming down was like being hit with a ..."

"...Smoking crack promise, this talk, that my mother wanted me to have, I knew I had to do now. Maybe Mama would forgive me, maybe her eyes would absolve me, wipe out the years I’d spent trapped in crack houses, and heal the wound from the countless days and nights I’d ..."

Search result for 'Smoking crack' in the FAQs of Don't Tell Me What To Do: A Spiritual Memoir

Why I enjoyed smoking crack?

Search result for 'Smoking crack' in Glossary of Don't Tell Me What To Do: A Spiritual Memoir


"I felt as if I was walking into the hospital room with you. It's amazing how our lives lead us..."

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