Perking the Pansies
Jack and Liam move to Turkey

How many expats live in Turkey?


According to the latest statistics from the Turkish Statistical Institute (TURKSTAT), there are 211,790 foreigners living in Turkey. In 2009, Jack and Liam joined the mad, the bad, the sad and the glad. Read about it in Perking the Pansis, Jack and Liam move to Turkey.

Search result for 'expat' in Perking the Pansies

"...the sumptuously appointed show home, Lorraine ushered us to a vacant house on the next level down. She could smell a deal even though the rent demolished our budget. Liam and I momentarily gazed at one another, perfecting the telepathy that was to become a vital tool in our expat survival box. We unceremoniously tossed aside our rental budget like a used dish cloth. The detached villa with an uncluttered view of the Aegean had utterly seduced us. Before long, we had met the landlord, sealed the deal and agreed Lorraine’s commission. Tepe Heights was to be our new ..."

"...My next social intervention met with much greater success. I sidled next to Charlotte, a vivacious, energetic brunette with a sun-kissed complexion and a bouncing cleavage that heaved in rhythm to her filthy laugh. We hit it off immediately. Botticelli Babe Charlotte and her tall debonair silver-haired husband were expat veterans, vetpats. Alan and Charlotte had sold up in England and built their dream home on a hill overlooking Yalıkavak. It was obvious we shared similar values and I sensed a friendship might develop. ..."

Chapter 6: The Emigreys
"...Black Sea çay. After a short stroll through the village, we stepped into a beachside restaurant and ordered a couple of Efes beers. Apart from the distant strains of Turkopop emanating from the kitchen, the place was deathly quiet. At one end of the restaurant, a small clutch of expats sat next to a smoking fire: a single woman and two middle-aged men. The woman was a skeletal, severe looking creature with an angular face, beady eyes, austerely short, home-highlighted hair and a shrill northern accent. As she held court, her emasculated companions attended her silently, nodding in submissive ..."
"...We were greeted enthusiastically by our Turkish host. Mehmet was clearly grateful for the unforeseen winter custom. The smoky drinking den was barely lit and three local punters propped up the shabby bar, silently sipping rakı, the intoxicating aniseed-flavoured national tipple. A lone expat sat in the corner of the room, his table covered in blue and white chequered plastic and warmed by a single-bar electric fire hanging from the ceiling. We ordered beer and sat at the vacant table next to him. I stared up at the line of frayed national flags ..."
"... find me swinging from a rope.” “I might join you.” “Double suicide. How tragically romantic.” “I can see the headline. ‘Mad Mullahs and Militant expats Force Gay Perverts into Suicide Pact.’” Liam paused. “I don’t want to die yet, Jack.” “Me neither. Not ..."

"...would embark on a twelve hour washing marathon, each time ensuring our undies were discretely flapping away in the wind, hidden, but flapping nonetheless. To add to our woes, the main fuse-box always tripped on final spin. These were the days of a poofy pioneer in the Wild East; expat life was terribly tough. ..."

"...Tom had just lost a piece of his innocence and I had discovered a new kind of perspective. Our life in Turkey wasn’t real. Not really. We were drifting around in an extraordinary expat bubble with people we didn’t know or really care about. We’d forgotten what mattered. Liam dragged mother up for a Gay Gordon and I wondered if he had sensed it too. ..."

Chapter 13: Come Dine with Me
"... red tail lights disappear into the distance and went back to the living room to examine the wreckage. “It worked,” said Liam. “Operation ‘Get the expats Rat- Arsed’. It worked.” “Come here, you. You’re a bloody genius.” “I was born that way. You’re a very ..."

"...gulp. “I need to talk to you, John. The thing is I’m not sure I’ve done the right thing. Not Liam. He’s wonderful. I think you’d like him. I know you’d like him. He’s got your impish twinkle in his eye. I mean moving to Turkey. Some of the expats are just awful. God, in real life I’d cross the street to avoid them. You wouldn’t put up with it for a second. I know, we should have done our research, but we can’t come running home at the first sign of trouble can we? Still, Mum would be ..."

Chapter 16: Judgement Day
"...That night, I crept out onto the terrace while Liam was asleep. Life in Turkey, Jack. Discuss. Middle England miseries welded to their tabloids. Sad people, bad people, expats-in-a-bubble people. They hate the country they came from; they hate the country they’ve come to. This was my social life. This is what I gave everything up for. This was Liam’s bloody Nirvana. We were the mad ones, not them. My rambling thoughts were interrupted by an erratic light ..."

Chapter 18: Paradise Lost
"...expatalcyon days came to a screeching halt when The Turkish Daily News, the largest English language newspaper in Turkey, ran an article about homosexuality. The Turkish Minister for Children called it a disease that could be cured. Reactions to her comment were mixed. The Minister for Health contradicted her statement ..."
"...stalking us at every turn. Each time the Archangel Gabriel appeared, we knocked back our drinks and moved on. He was as alarming as ever, in torn designer slacks and a white silk shirt held together with gold safety pins. Punk meets Vegas. Fed up to the rafters with expat banality, we were out to bond with the locals – real, genuine, living and breathing Turks. Liam fancied impressing them with his confident grasp of Turkish nouns and I was up for some judicious flirting. We ate meze, drank rakı and hung out in the meyhaneler, the tatty bars ..."

Search result for 'expat' in the FAQs of Perking the Pansies

Where do most expats live in Turkey?
How many expats live in Turkey?
What is an expat?

Search result for 'expat' in Glossary of Perking the Pansies

The Aegean

"And it’s not so far-fetched that the book could find its way to a movie deal: according to the..."

More Reviews
Share on Facebook Tweet This
Buy this book:
Visit the
Perking the Pansies
Join Jack Scott on Google+
Get a Book Preview website