Perking the Pansies
Jack and Liam move to Turkey

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Preface

1. In the Beginning
"In the beginning there was work, and work was God. After thirty-five years in the business, the endless predictability made me question the Faith. ... " - read more
2. Ave Maria
"A Heaven-sent neighbour enables Jack and Liam to find their place in the sun and live the dream by buying their house and its all its contents - in cash. ... " - read more
3. Back to the Future
"Jack and Liam return to the sweaty heat of bustling Bodrum in a desperate attempt to find a roof over their heads. Time is running out. Will they find the ... " - read more
4. Indian Summer
"Jack and Liam enjoy the replenishing glory of an Indian Summer, endure their first encounter with Byzantine red tape and experience a taste of ancient Turkish delight. ... " - read more
5. La Crème de la Crème
"Jack and Liam move into their fabulous villa with a fantastic view and experience their first scary encounter with the expat rat pack. Will they survive? ... " - read more
6. The Emigreys
"Jack and Liam bump into a charming pedigree'd Turkish aristocrat then crash into the worst of the overwintering expats. Will the clash spoil the dream? ... " - read more
7. Clement's Closet
"How will Jack and Liam cope with the apocalyptic weather that trapped them inside for days on end? How will they manage a closeted and homophobic gay neighbour? ... " - read more
8. Anyone for Spare Ribs?
"Jack and Liam receive a bloody gift from their Turkish neighbours and Liam receives an unexpected job offer. Will he take it? ... " - read more
9. The Only Virgin in London
"Jack and Liam travel home for a special birthday celebration and unheraded doubts begin to emerge about their decision to move to Turkey. Was it all a big mistake? ... " - read more
10. Wrapped in Swaddling Clothes
"Jack and Liam chance upon a babe in arms, ecstatic new parents and the harsh reality of gay life in Turkey which fill Jack with misgivings and sadness. ... " - read more
11. Fright Night
"One rainy, windswept night, Jack and Liam hit the village and stumble across the auditions for a remake of Cocoon, all grey hair and sensible knitwear. ... " - read more
12. Tales of the City
"Jack and Liam return once more to London for a whirlwind tour of family and fine old friends. Will the emotional ties that bind make them think again? ... " - read more
13. Come Dine with Me
"Jack and Liam become the darlings of the dinner party circuit and decide to throw their very own soiree for the expat rat pack. How will it go? ... " - read more
14. The VOMITs
"A bad-tempered birthday bash sees the expat crème de la crème begin to curdle. Is this the end of the line for the emigrey soap-opera? ... " - read more
15. Jack's Guardian Angel
"Jack takes an emotional trip down memory lane that focuses the mind and steels his resolve to kick the doubts overboard and paddle back to his place in the sun. ... " - read more
16. Judgement Day
"Jack and Liam finally break free from the expat soap opera with its British Raj pretentions and spend carefree days basking in the glorious sun. But, can it last? ... " - read more
17. Clement’s Köy Erection
"Clement announces a momentous decision and a near-fatal car accident almost brings Jack and Liam's Anatolian adventure to a crashing halt. ... " - read more
18. Paradise Lost
"Jack and Liam enter a naughty twilight world of endless possibilities only to find their second honeymoon gate-crashed by a perfidious landlord. Is it time to move on? ... " - read more
19. Hit the Road, Jack
"Jack and Liam find the perfect stone cottage at the heart of Bodrum. The perfect venue for the second half of their Turkish adventure is interrupted by an ominous phone ... " - read more
20. Empty Nest
"Jack and Liam try to enjoy their new life in old Bodrum Town while struggling to make sense of the terrible news they'd received. Will the baby ever be returned? ... " - read more
21. Love Thy Neighbour
"Jack and Liam become the talk of the town. What will their Turkish neighbours make of this foreign gay couple living in the midst? ... " - read more
22. Once a Catholic...
"Jack and Liam go on a pilgrimage to seek divine intercession. Will official phone-tapping and a stark warning spoil their Anatolian idyll? ... " - read more
23. Did the Earth Move for You, Darling?
"Jack and Liam endure heat exhaustion and sleepless, sweaty nights while a terrifying earthquake moves the ground beneath their feet. ... " - read more
24. All the Nice Girls Love a Sailor
"Jack and Liam's little stone house is invaded by bugs from Hell while mayhem on the high seas and murder in dry land nearly scuppers their boat. ... " - read more
25. Home Alone
"Liam was needed at home rushes back to Blighty. Jack is home alone and his mind races with doubts about Turkey. Will he stay or will he go? ... " - read more
26. The Belles of Bodrum
"Liam returns to an emotional Jack and a chance meeting with a gorgeous trio of expat veterans opens a hopeful new chapter to Jack and Liam's Turkish journey. ... " - read more
27. Jack's Cotillion
"Jack celebrates his half century in style with a crate-full of family surprises from Liam and a glimmer of hope for the return of a child so cruelly taken. ... " - read more
28. Epilogue - Belle Époque
"A year in the making and Jack and Liam's voyage had barely started. What began as an exhilarating journey into the unknown soon became a raw test of endurance. ... " - read more
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"The book is written in a conversational style that made me think of sitting down with a close friend and..."

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