Widowhood 101
The story of my journey through the first 18 months of Widowhood

How long does it take before you feel better as a widow/er


There is no defined time limit on feeling better as a widow or widower. This journey through grief is an individual journey and you will travel this road at your own pace. Some widows feel better after a few months and some never do stop grieving.

For me the grieving came long before his death because of 25 years of illness, the feeling better though has come slowly over the this first year. The fog started to lift at about three months, but the true healing did not start for at least eight months. I still grieve for my husband even now 18 months later and I probably always will miss him. The grief just softens though and becomes a gentle memory of the love we shared and the years we had together.

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"...Those first few days after the death when the pain is so intense that breathing is hard and just getting out of bed is a marathon no one can reach in past the grief and pull you up. At least for me this was true. My grief was intense and the only thing I wanted those first few days was to hide away from the world and lick my wounds. Even the people closest to me could not reach past that barrier that ..."

Grief can and does colour our view on life and during the first few months all life is in shades of grey. The grey of the fog is so all encompassing that it makes daily life a trial to face every day. The first few days after Keith died I was lost in a sea of grey and it carried me dry eyed thr...
"...During the last year I have also had to deal with more loss and pain and have had to find a path through the darkness of the old pain to add the new pains and grief’s to the end of it. I have lost a close friend just a few months after Keith. This loss of a young friend was devastating as that friendship had been part of the life Keith and I shared. This loss came six short months after the loss of Keith ..."
"...Two more grief’s hit during the last six months and both of them have been very hard to take, as they are closing the chapters of the past. Last year our old dog was getting rather frail and in quite a lot of pain from arthritis, so it was time for that ..."

"...medical personnel who were watching over me and able to intervene before it became deep rooted to the extent that I slipped even further down. The treatment was counselling and medication. I did not like what the medication did to me and felt that it covered much of my grief and ended up being weaned off the medication and with the counselling have made a reasonable recovery. There are days when I feel very down, but those days are less and less and I know that it is normal grief now and that it will come in waves for ..."

"...by loneliness and lack of love. The right love will find us when the time is right, you will know this in your heart. If it’s not the right love then you will wake up one day in the future knowing that you made a mistake due to your grief and rushed into something that you were not ready for. Take your time with emotions and ensure that both your motives and the person you are involved with are heading in the same direction. There is no need to rush, if it’s right then it will be right even ..."

"...Keith, the loss of the life I knew and the loss of the job I held for 25 years as his caregiver. Those losses have had a huge impact on my life, mind and heart and being alone has been good for me and enabled me to process my grief in a healthy way for me. ..."

"...I would discourage families and friends from trying to persuade the bereaved to make change during the first few weeks or months as this change, unless necessary, is a stumbling block for the grief and while a widow or widower is grieving hard they should not be pressured into change. Time enough for change after the first few months have passed and the worst of the grief has subsided. I will not put a time limit on grieving hard though as it varies ..."
"...time spent packing up the house and all the things that they had shared together during the time of the relationship was an overwhelming task. Many of these changes were not forced by circumstance, but were done through persuasion of loved ones and have not always worked. While the grief is so raw even seeing familiar things that belonged to your partner can send a sharp wave of sorrow coursing through your body and bring you to your knees. Having to pack all their belongings away as well as your own could tip you from grief to major depression ..."

"...that plan is now unrolling on the page and is becoming part of the now of my life. The last six months of writing and rewriting this book have given me an insight into where I have been, where I am going and how I have dealt with the grief, loss and mourning. There is more writing planned and more books. Poetry and fiction are still to come. Books that have lurked in my mind for a long time and I now have the time in the future I am forging to write them. ..."

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"Dawn has an extraordinary way of approaching delicate issues we face as being widows. The name is perfect for the..."

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